Strange Superheroes And Villains

Comic's Unknown Characters

Now we've all heard of The Joker and Penguin, as well as Wolverine and Batman but there are so many villains and superheroes out there that have slipped under the radar. I guess the majority of the time it’s for the best - because they’re awful at their job but at the same time they’re extremely entertaining and need to be exposed.

Bizarre Villains   

Superman logo
Superman logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
There are two things needed to make a decent villain – to be so evil it hurts or a balance between good and bad, of course mostly bad but with enough good to make it slightly believable. Villains and ‘badies’ have shown great ways to manipulate the minds of anyone trying to stop them, and have managed to strike fear into our best loved superheroes. Yet there are few stragglers that are so baffling and useless that your average Joe wearing a tee with the Superman logo on could defeat them.

Condiment King is up there with some of the worst villains of them all. Appearing in a few episodes of DC, Condiment King was a saucy joke for Batman to contend with. Armed with mustard and ketchup, amongst other… you guessed it condiments; he squirted his enemies with sauce. The only possible threat he carried was the potential his victims would have a anaphylactic shock. Assuming your enemy may be allergic to certain food is pretty tender.

Asbestos Man was the enemy of The Human Torch. Asbestos Man was literally what his name states, a man made from asbestos. He wore a suit that consisted of super asbestos, a suit that he formulated within his castle after retreating from other villains that would mock him. Asbestos is now marked as a contributor for malignant illness and building foundations are constantly audited to take away the harmful insulation – please don’t mistake the man in the van tackling this problem as Asbestos Man, because he’s probably tougher.

Kite Man has had run-ins with Batman and Robin as well as Hawkman and Hawkgirl. He flies the skies armed with kites, committing crimes with kites and overwhelming people with kites. Other than flying around aimlessly with kites his best ever feat was releasing convicted criminals from prison. What a floater.

Peculiar Policing

Superheroes are supposed to be looked up to, indentified as trusted protectors of the planet and when needed - rescue those in trouble.  However, sometimes they get it all wrong.

Matter-Eater Lad is an absolute abomination. A member of the Legion of Super-Heroes, Matter-Eater Lad is not only a mouthful to pronounce but his super power is to eat matter. He can eat through metal poles, churn through structures and digest matter to reinforce his power to eat through more matter? It’s no wonder that after his creation he was routinely written out of endless story lines.

Vibe is a dude who likes to dance. He was introduced to DC in 1983, possibly because of the break dancing phenomenon but it’s no excuse. Vibe’s power enables him to create mass shock waves that shatter’s foundations. True to the art of break dance, Vibe was also highly agile and impressed people with spins, drops and windmills. Can you imagine robbing a bank and in your path out steps some guy with some shelltoes and a mat? “Hi, I’m ‘Vibes’.” Move over dancing queen.

Dogwelder hell on earth, this guy is nuts. From DC’s Hitman series, Dogwelder was part of a superhero collective called Section Eight. This group fought crime in absurd ways. Dogwelder is a not a dog, he’s a mute man that never reveals his face and dons a silver welder’s outfit. The dog bit comes into play when he finds dead stray dogs and welds them to the faces of his villains. They’re left to suffer with a face full of fur, potential fleas and end up suffocating. This man is barking mad and should have a restraining order from all veterinaries ASAP.

About Author

Duncan Hartman is a big comic book fan and enjoys writing his own comics and fanzines.

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